Held Captive

June 18, 2006

Shall I elaborate the title? I don’t think so. It is my utmost sentiment right now as destiny itself pulled me away from what I am  supposed to be…a media practitioner or an academic.

I can’t do my best when I am in the four corners of the cold office recieving irate customers from outer space. Traveling is what I am. Wherever I go, I enjoy it so much.

I was brought to this cold corporate world out of practicality. I am out of the shell of ideology that was my alma mater. Cold as it is, I can’t apply the theories that my mentors gave me. I am frustrated. For me to able to reach the impossible, I have to sacrifice every ideals that I have. The ideas that I love and hold dearly in the academe. The ideas of a better society.

I’m not a home boy. I don’t stay inside the room for the whole day watching TV and stuff. My week is not complete without going anywhere yet do not frequently go to malls. Nakakasawa na! So I go where no ordinary guy goes…the streets of Manila, Cebu, Davao, Iloilo, GenSan & Bacolod and the mountainsides of LuzViMinda and the islands in between Boracay and Batanes to Tawi-Tawi.

I seek adventure, thrill and adrenaline rush! Kaso walang pera! I’m no tourist, but a wanderer, a soujouner, a researcher, an explorer. I don’t go places to see the landmarks but to see the culture behind the place. The people that makes things alive, nature that becalms a weary spirit and "urbanity" that rushes through the blood of every traveler.

I’m ready to take risks wherever I go. Being in Mindanao for a months during college did not dampen my spirit to explore what it seems to be a no man’s land for some of our kababayans/kasimanwas. I appreciated the place where no one appreciates it. Am I lunatic? Going to Cotabato from Tacurong passing by bombed areas during tha all-out war that Dirty Harry declared a few years ago? No. I saw the place, it was placid. I love it.

A resercher I am. Love to hear stories from different people with different experiences. Researcher? Anong makukuha mo dun? Mag-aaral ka lang ba nanaman at gagastos? This question sometimes irritate me. Is being a researcher limited to the academe? Who are fuelling the reporter’s script in media, is it the researcher? Are newscasters and media practitioners researcher too? They are and I wanna be one of them. Damn I’m frustrated!

Academy. I want to be known, respected, influential and be trusted. A researcher that earned his name by putting up his left leg in the grave everytime he goes out. I research not for my personal gain but for the betterment of the many. I took up sacrifices to finish my thesis, because it is in me, the passion to do and live more out of it.

And alas, I’m in the four corners of the semi-corporate and semi-enslaving world. I don’t know if ever I’ll move up the corporate ladder. I might get rich someday, maybe. But left without a fire burning is like being a living dead. Being rich is not something that I personally take out of the material world, but it is passion and the love to serve the public, be loved, be hated, be respected and be criticized. I am not perfect since I do have personal interests, a human being. Passion burning from a cold space in a cold world.

Frustrated…I am right now. A captive of frustration and yet, I’ll never lose hope. Nunca perdere esperanza!

Pinoy Ako, Pinoy Tayo?: Ikaunang Kapitulo: Lingua Franca de Filipinas

Karamihan sa ating Pinoy, pag-sinabing Filipino ang wika, ito ay yung Tagalog. Imperyalistang Tagalog ika nga ng mga Bisaya. Sa kapanahunan ni Pangulong Quezon noong dekada 30, napagkaisahan ng mga pulitiko na naka-base sa Maynila, na ang pambansang wika ay Pilipino base sa wika ng Maynila…ang Tagalog. Ito’y para mapag-isa ang kapuluang pinag-watak watak ng kabundukan at karagatan.

Pero isipin nyo, kung pupunta naman kayo sa Visayas at Mindanao, ang pinakadominanteng wika ay ang Bisaya (base sa Cebuano pero may halo rin ng Ilonggo o Waray - generaly speaking na yan) at karamihan sa mga nasa malalayong lugar ay kung hindi man masyadong marunong magsalita ng Tagalog ay talagang hindi makaintindi o makapagsalita ng Tagalog! Debate ng ilan, kahit kailan, hindi naging superyor ang Tagalog sa ibang salita sa Pilipinas kaya hindi maituturing dayalekto ang Ilonggo, Cebuano, Waray, Maranao, Ilocano, Kapampangan, Bikolano at iba pa.

Dito pa lang, napansin na hindi masyadong matagumpay ang layunin ng Tagalog. Sa ngayon, may mga institusyon na tinatanggap na ang konseptong Pilipino ay kasama na rin ang ibang "dialekto" ng Pilipinas. Marahil isa na ito sa mga paraan upang masara na ang hidwaan ng mag-kakapatid sa lahi.

Kaya ang tanong: Ano nga ba ang tunay na wikang Pilipino? Sino? Saan? Kanino?

(Kasama ito sa isang serye na nagtatanong kung sino nga ba si Juan de la Cruz: Pinoy Ako, Pinoy Tayo)